22 April 2011

April

Something was there in the well-lit darkness
It was summer or so the night air told
There was something alive out there
Secrets foretold by the cooling breeze
A prophecy of the months to come

It was only April but the wind whispered
Prepare for beaches and short skirts
Outside things smelled different
Like the plants were talking to each other
Sharing things we couldn’t or wouldn’t understand

The cold stone ground caresses my bare feet
My head feels clearer now the day has passed
It was as beautiful as the low hanging yellow moon
It rejuvenated and filled the soul with excitement
Soon… Things were coming soon…

18 April 2011

Scarred Lungs

All this frustration pounding on my chest
Beating through my heart and raping my veins
Tearing the walls of my lungs down
only to have them spit up unceremoniously
Stained teeth and frayed nails
Cuticles attempting to caress my knuckles
A scar left of centre that shouldn’t be there
Some that were earned and some for keeps

The mind continues to process everything
faster than it seems possible
but with an end result
an answer that is just out of reach
the solution that has greater than binary definition
creeping forth slower than concrete drying
within the steel frames of buildings
designed to insult god

You’ve built prisons of venison walls and crudité bars
Where poison is legal but not always
The people who claim to protect you are lying
through their wallets
Spend to survive and to make yourself ill
Deny it and be set free to live a longer prison sentence
The trap is infallible in design like infinity
Breathe
It
In

15 April 2011

Wasted Time

It could be everywhere but you’d never know
Hidden away in the darkest reaches of plain sight
Seeping out of carbon burns on walls
But I see you…
I feel you…

I’m up all night trying to find you
But you’re lost in the vertical worlds
Of known possibilities
But I know you’re there…
I heard all of you move…

If you want to visit and hit me
Please do so with aplomb
I’ll be ready waiting

She said she didn’t want me
Not with her “no”
But with her smile
and her indifferent eyes

A walk lost on the masses
But savoured by the few
All wasted by the need for one
The word is indispensable
My lust for you is not
Your warmth is growing
Pulling me deeper in
The pain is unbearable

You play on repeat in my mind
I need release

Sleep Won


Sleep won’t come too soon
These thoughts keep spilling out of me
The words claim to give them home
But in my mind I know the truth
It’s all about you
It’s four out of five
Not by design or by intent
I know you’re always there
On the verge of a reality

I see a home with a worker and a writer
I smell and touch through intoxicated senses
Unreliable but infatuated with a truth founded

It’ll never be real but it won’t leave me
It taunts me for nights at a time
I can’t make it stop
I don’t know if I want to

Forever accosted by the if only
Fooling myself lust drunk

Repetition

This time of hardship we find ourselves in
When nothing makes sense except for the burning
With everything in place wanting to be given
We’re left waiting for you to welcome us in
To be rid of this desire…

To be a part of you again
We need the passion and the gratitude
Treading familiar ground that always has renewed
But you tease us with empty promise
Filling our heads with doubt and regret…

Filling our soul until we bust in futility
Fertile landscapes that keep us caged
All we want is to be free to be who we are
Accept us without exemption or hesitation
We’ll scratch the itch and cleanse ourselves victorious…

We’ll make you scream delightful songs of the past
Agonise over every unintentional precision movement
Dig nails in deep with intent to never let go
Hold your soul and in turn release ours
I know you need us but your indifference scars…

I won’t hold back
We’ll be there for you
Filling the void
To kindle the flame
This repeating last time

14 April 2011

Celestial Radiance

I’m dying just like you promised
I can feel your truth robbing me
Every breath I take
gives me something new
Yet it takes away

The creaking of the stairs has grown louder
My steps must be growing heavier
The radiance of the world once glimpsed light
has begun to eclipse
My options are becoming slim and malnourished

Looking heavenwards I can’t see a thing
I’ve blinded myself with ambition
But I’m learning to only take fleeting glances
lest I drown like the sun
I’ll live chained like the moon

Basking in eternity in my own filth
Print gives me nothing new
The catharsis began within and will never stop
birthing and growing in infinity
Until I find the whole and the reason

12 April 2011

abandoned nightmares II

Your feet began to ache, as if every step was adding extra weight to your body, slowing you down, making you cumbersome. Glancing up the road, the man in the suit appeared to be miles ahead, urging you to catch up to him with a smile and a beckoning wave. The task seemed impossible. Dust blew in your eyes, forcing tears to roll down your cheeks and your face to burn. In the corner of your vision, the man in the straitjacket scurried up alongside you, matching your pace. His walk had a tormented bent about it, he walked half hunched over, almost as if he was crouching, with his hands almost touching the floor, but never quite reaching it. His movements were primal, as if he was imitating a primate, but still clearly human. As you stopped to catch your breath, he stopped next to you and looked up with a concerned look in his hollow eyes. As you mirrored his concern, his knife slit mouth formed another chilling smile that forced you to look away.

“You’ll never catch him.” The man in the straitjacket had rasped his first words. “He’ll always be too far away, seeming to be within reach, to be within your grasp… But catching him is an impossible task.”

The shock of the man in the straitjacket talking intensified the sense of dread the sound of his voice had filled you with and froze you to the spot. You wanted to move forwards but couldn’t will yourself to do so. The man in the suit had turned to face you, to see why you had stopped. With a worrisome look on his face and a slouched posture he looked back up the road, turned, and continuing onwards. You forced yourself to look down at the man in the straitjacket. He was playing with the dirt of the road, sweeping it back and forth with his unkempt nails.

“What do you mean?” Uttering the words seemed to drain you of all your strength, like you were trying to crush your lungs with your own hands.

The man in the straitjacket took a couple of sharp breaths, tossed some of the dirt he was holding in front of you both, making an arch appear. “Never mind,” his tone had changed, the fear that had filled you began to leave, “it was nothing, you shouldn’t listen to me, he won’t like it.”

The man in the strait jacket began to move to the apex of the arch. “What? Why won’t ‘he’ like it?! Like what?!” The questions you asked seemed to be so important, as if the answer held the key to everything.

“NOTHING!” The man in the straitjacket had taken a much more serious tone and spat as he spoke. His eyes had somehow grown darker and his stature greater, as if he was almost at eye level. The fear rushed back to you as you felt intimidation in the coarseness of his breath on your face. His black eyes scanned your eyes and lips for a response. He flared his nostrils as his stature appeared to lessen and his face softened. With intrigue, he stroked your face with one long finger that appeared to be almost worn back to bone. “Don’t worry about it, it’s not important.” He murmured.

The man in the straitjacket moved away and began to continue scurrying along the road which appeared to have grown an incline during your confrontation with your ever more mysterious traveling companion. You felt the need to get a grip of the situation. Before he got too far away, you began to follow him, and shouted “what’s your name?”

He stopped. With a sinister smile on his face, he looked over his shoulder and whispered down the wind “Linus.”

Knowing his name made you feel better about him, yet there was unease at the back of your mind in a depth that you could not reach. You longed for the man in the suit. Linus stirred something inside of you that you didn’t want to accept. What was to come could not be determined. You didn’t want to accept what had happened but turning back seemed like madness. Forwards, there was something uncertain but something you felt compelled to be a part of.

Through possibility of understanding, you found hope.