Why do we have that odd fascination
With destroying all that we hold dear
When we are close to losing something
While someone slips through our fingers
Or an opportunity escapes our grasp
We always reach for the bottle to smash
Whether it's figurative or literal
Destruction is what we are
Pretty in our purity
Vicious movements of the upmost elegance
Why
Without meaning and full of falsified intent
Why have a bag full of morals to show off
Losing your dignity
Just allow someone to punch your teeth out
Smile politely and ask for more
You'll disarm them every time
I promise you
When those days come
All I want is for my head to split wide open
For every thought, feeling and ideal to spill out
Be placed neatly on an innately woven rug
That I'll sit behind
Legs crossed in the street
With a flat cap upturned
Begging for people to throw something at me
Thanking them through half broken teeth
Blood stains on my collar
No longer hoping for what I deserve
Taking what I expect in the grand humour of Its design
When I look upon an empty page
Interlaced images
Versus an undesirable path
My soul can feel empty
Integrity can seem broken
Success achieved through fakery
Placebo pills to satisfy
I want them to force inside
I'll gladly push with them
To have hands move favourably
Filling in the void on my own terms
Time to move the images
On my watch
What happened to that grand idea I had
The spark of creativity that once compelled me
Where words and form came natural
Yet nothing could be molded in one sitting
Was it the control in other images that halted me
Or the passing of time
I like to think that it's the undesirable path
But I can't be sure
I'm starving myself on so many levels
The smallest of treats now make me sick
They once only used to kill me
Decision that nothing can be truly devoid
That artistry exists in all things
No matter how benign or intrusive
Must be held as true
Distractions fed by touch have to be
For action reaction and emotion will be valid
I've begun the metamorphosis
At first it was painful
But I will have my second stage
It has begun
Only greatness awaits me now
Kindness that slept in her eyes
Movement through waves that scream
A presence like no other
There but never invasive
Comforting with a breast to sleep on
Enticement without confusion
Above the sheets
Becoming lost in her moment
Losing myself simultaneously
Struggling to breathe
That perfect silhouette that excites me
An eagerness for something more
Patience in knowing that we can wait
Creating old theories on what is right
Giving up my secrets in cautious trust
Feeling something real
Protecting the fragility of an idea
Defending the belief comes easy
Only words and my world dissolves
Self made iron bars fall away
As goals become clear
The alignment of the self alters
I'm hungry for less because I want more
Back to the wall
Wolves at the door
Terror gripping my stomach
Twisting my spine
Considering the wrong way out
There has to be another way
No more breaking hearts to a beat
While everything else may fall to pieces
A part of me is full
Consuming my whole at that perfect moment
No more snapping fingers
While wearing shades and turtle necks
I gave in to the temptation
Telling her she's cool
Sharing electronic distractions of passion
Accepting that what I am is enough
Knowing that I can be more
Aiming for what we want as one
Sharing the pain of it all
Folding the right words into place
Feeling safe and secure
Holding on with relaxed fingers
Other possibilities currently hold no purpose
Charts have been etched in pencil
The destination is both uncertain and surplus
The here, now and soon to be keeps me warm
Other things and perfect dreams
Nothing more than that
The rot has well and truly set in
Yet I find myself energised
Filled with a desire for strength
To fight a good fight
To have something to die for
To have a goal to champion
Somehow I can't shake the feeling
All that I am is a sense of desperation
Trying madly not to lay waste
To hands of a faulty clock
There has to be better
Engagement with a worthy challenge
Pushing myself to find new limits
Reason to break a sweat
Reason to mend a broken back
Reason to rebuild slack muscles
When I seek peace at night
Dread grips the fabric of my being
The inescapable fear
That I can't destroy that infernal clock
I'm still letting time win
In many ways I always will
I could spend an eternity
Contemplating it all
I always come back to one notion
When everything has been turned
Twisted and romanticised
I would never pass up a chance
To burn everything you are
All that you stand for
Until you are nothing but ash
Dancing in the breeze
Slipping ever further
Splints giving way
Shadows clawing at my feet
How can it be possible to fall so far
To think that you've seen the end
Crashing through barriers
Seeing into the deepest depths
Bruised blues turning to black
How can I heal
When I keep kicking myself
With little to fight back with
I can't help but wonder
What's next
Cheer me on
A glimpse of creation
Purest energy igniting the air
Catching kindling in a hurry
Licking limbs in good time
Flames that grew
Birthed by betrayal
Sewing seeds of doubt
Eventually stoking the fire
Then fanning the flames
Of discontent
But isn't this what was always wanted
To be no more than needed
Never allowing oneself to be complete
Otherwise what would be the point
But we can't help but ask of ourselves
Why would someone do this
Not to someone else
For that would cross unspoken boundaries
But to themselves
Destroying every aspect
Every particle of being
Until nothing remained
But debris
Just remains of what once was
And then do it again and again and again
Without learning
If repetition makes no sense
An answer is in reach
See infinity beyond probability
Never explain your lines
Never pretend to be a Woolf
You'll get found out
Stick to smoking on the sofa
Contemplate the next kick
Keep moving
Curbing an axis
Great liars with greater minds
Writing in riddles to hide
Sharing pain to keep it secret
The watch has ended
Lights flickering in change
The spirit cannot be hollowed
Not by the user and the habitual inhabited
Don't follow blindly
Dictate with ferocity
Write a map with ink not pencil
and follow it
I rode the giant for far too long
Living larger than I should
All it took was one quick move
To shake me off
But don't fret
I'm down here in the dirt
The dust may be cold
But the ground is bountiful
I'll bide my time
When the worst becomes an option
Fill your pockets with rocks
When all seemed lost
Was anything left
Breaking down walls
Burning the forest to the ground
Something is more
Someone to give hope
Anything is possible now
All routes are open
Talk of what can happen
Telling each finger tip
Taking hold
She spoke to her through bones and skin
Legs across lips
Ever the temptress
Her silhouette a masterpiece
Framed by unnatural glow
The world living and breathing behind them
She knew what she was doing
Leading her astray
Pulling the leash
Blowing a kiss
Whispers escaping her mouth
Caressing her cheek
Beckoning closer
Feeling her lungs against hers
Biting her lobe to know that this is real
She could have sunk her teeth
Pierced her soul
Drank her in
Lips touching
Parting in sweet unison
Looking into each others eyes
Reading the unwritten
Finding the truths that can't be taught
The night is young
Two depart
Safe and aware
Believing in wrong doing
Walking a well known path
Painting with pixels and the alphabet
A blank canvas already full
The white light at the end
Tunnel vision that holds my hand
Racing thoughts and taking bets
Putting my money on the underachiever
Waiting for inspiration to push through
Taking the outside track
Victory is less than recognition
Yet just as tangible
Accomplishment gently caressing
Accountability not far behind
Mountains keep stretching on
Diving and climbing
Peaks screaming through highs
Man made torn by nature
The valley has a rhythm
Watch me dance to it
Play faster
Play stronger
becoming the vigor you feel
being one with your own
smile ear to ear as they depart
Feel the movement of the strings
Feel the vibrations emanating
from the floorboards
moving through you
making you worship the air
Touch the hand of the architect
Touch the unseen leviathan
become one through contact
life altering before your eyes
getting sucked into unison
Bonded by a common thread
Bonded by waves
It will forever be something
The warmth that grows
Light that enters the skin
Dancing from within
Holding gently but firm
Smooth against rough
Feather touch of lighting
The sky caressing the ground
It always was and always will
Being chained with cognition
Bound without thought
For whatever may
Every art form exhausted
The path no clearer in view
Tearing skin away in clumps
Becoming the questions
with no answers
Dancing with the inevitable
Aching mind and body
Push to break what was
Empty pockets without
The death of one
Carrying on without a cure
All these thoughts amount to nothing
Why be anything more
Swallow the sugar coated antidote
Pulling the embers down to the knuckle
Eat the sour slice of cake
Never taking more than you need
Wanting more than you take
Giving everything away for free
Staring into oncoming obstacles
Blood shot eyes of consistency
Blurring it into something timeless
Take a punch to the throat
Fight back with gratitude
She'll never fly again
Not at this rate
The Kings and Queens have been fucking their nearest and dearest
Selling the story to glossy pages
Slipping into static rantings
Multiplying their multiples
Princesses can't help but whore themselves
Selling their minds and body and leaving the heart to rot
Prized pets ripe to be paraded without concern
Draped in the latest fashion to draw the hungry near
Taught not to be educated
Pitchforks of the tongue are ready
Flaming torches unnecessary
Mothers and Fathers of creation long abandoned
God can be purchased or stolen through cables of light
Picked from the air like over ripe fruit
Why bother with depth when copies of copies are accepted
Integrity is unconsequential when the mind can be destroyed
Brothers and Sisters are lost or hiding
Left unchecked the few will continue to dwindle
The horde will always maintain control
Revolution can be the answer
War of Art and Intelligence flowing through empty streets
Invisible casualties won't make headlines
A foreign war on warm home soil
Nothing will change
Resistance will always be present
Dreams of prevailing are futile
Embrace the old with caution and fight for change
Do not be disheartened by a bloated monarchy of prostitution
We are all to blame for an ever present untempered reign
Time loans many hands to caress
The form once took has ceased to be
Buried beneath January snow
Spring is fast approaching
Clearing grit from my eyes
Emptying my lungs
I can hear birdsong
At a distance
Settling for less is not to be
Finding love for life
Still smoking and drinking
Thinking about running
Poor decision is abundant
The king of the castle can't see
Draped in gold and silver
The wrong that he does
Even as horizons approach
I can see the future
Woven into a tapestry
Rife with repetition
Breaking free from chains
Put in place by the unthinking
Growing in number
Staying alert for the prime
Without arms to bring anything closer
Wheezing from your throne
Your castle crumbled down to dust
Pale imitations of hollow ambition
No problem loosening your grip
When all you ever had is greased palms
Blame your creator until she speaks
Keep stealing from your protector
Ask for help to prove you're human
Expect nothing more than compliance
Keep your pockets warm with paper
Watch the pennies on those cold nights
Loneliness won't keep you awake
Just repeat the verse in time
"I can't love anyone else"
Stoke the hurt to keep it alive
How did you hear the words I uttered without sound?
You stopped the moving images that played on repeat
The flashing of scenery in a moving car
That feeling of touch that wouldn't go away
The shell that fell to the shore
Now resting in my stained palm
Somehow you blew down my deck of cards
Unceremoniously calling his bluff
I can see dew drops falling from blades of grass
Light moving through window panes
Thoughts forming before they exist
Bluebirds returning early for spring
All I have is feeling in my heart
Fleeting concern over empty pockets
Friends who won't give up
A place to rest my head and reason to see daybreak
and drive for what's next
Still these wounds keep bleeding
I've licked them clean one too many times
These voices tell me to hate you
When all I want is to hold you
Lost in blissful ignorance
But you helped me to see
You let the light come screaming in
Taking a knife and prying at broken skin
Tearing me open again
Forcing me to heal
One day I'll learn but not today
For now I'll pretend and smile
Languishing somewhere that doesn't feel right
Pretending it's you when it's someone else
Getting sick of broken porcelain day dreams
